When Hope Becomes Prison

How far can hope lead someone and when does hope turn from freedom into prison? Hope gives you courage, ease, smile, joy, thrills, but what if all those turn to dust too many times in a row? Does hope still mean flying, when the facts that it nurtures all make you fall? You’re hoping for a thing that reality has many times rejected.. You are aware of the limitations and of the unfriendly situation that you have come across with. Still, you can’t go on another direction. The phrase “maybe still” stirs your mind, paralyzes all your moves, your thoughts, and your power to revolt. You become trapped in the prison named “hope”, in a dead-end situation.
When a wish is growing inside of you, when you have set your eyes on a certain point, hope gives you wings and carries you in the desired direction. But your flight to that point is threatened by the hostile reality. Real facts make you collapse. However, you rise again- your wings are hurting you, but that distant point still lures you towards it, its charm heals your wings. The question is: how many more falls will you be able to bear? Since you have fallen so many times, something is deffinetly wrong with this ecuasion. The problem is not about your wings - you are able to fly, your wings are strong, though wounded, they can still help you. And yet, you don’t manage to reach that point you’ve been struggling for. But have you thought that maybe the problem lies within the long distance that separates you from that point? Hope has made it seem much shorter and the road much easier. In a moment of sad revelation you become aware of the fact that hope has manipulated the immage of the desired thing, making it seem closer, giving you the felling that you are able to thouch it, when the path to it in fact grows longer. Because of this immage, you’ve felt unimmagined thrills of joy, graceful sweaps, shy trembles, but also biting tears and sad heartbeats. All things considered, the question remains: are you willing to continue flying in that direction, regardless of your chanses to win and letting your feeble hope subdue you?

The only possible solution is changing the direction, and if there isn’t someone else to help you, or a favourable wind to guide you, the change must come from within yourself. Your wings got used to flying in that direction and no matter how much it hurt you during your multiple falls, the pain grows stronger when you decide to take that bend. You feel that the blury point you’ve been starring is better than no point at all. However, „maybe still” must be replaced by „maybe elsewhere”. The turn makes you senseless and puzzled. When you don’t have a certain thing to worry about, it’s like everything worries you. You will be drifting for a while, all the possible directions will seem useless to you and the points around you dull. Nothing will manage to draw your attention, but at least hope hasn’t become a prison for you. Sooner or later a new desire will spring in your heart, triggered by a new shiny point ahead of you. You will then fly towards it, accompanied by the same sweet scent named hope. There will be many points and also many bends to take.

Taking that bend..."maybe elsewhere"

Erik Satie - Gymnopedie No.3

P.S: The very nice picture is not made by me. I found it on deviantart, but it was what inspired me to write this post among other facts.